School Community Mourning Death of Student

February 15, 2012

Grief counselors were on hand Wednesday, Feb. 15 at Mill Creek Middle School in Lusby following the death of a female student in the seventh grade.

The student died Feb. 14 at her home in Lusby.

According to Calvert County Public School (CCPS) Spokesperson Gail Bennett, a letter was being sent home to parents about how the school was saddened to learn about the death and how to talk to children about the grieving process. School officials are not commenting on the cause of death at this time.

Bennett noted that grief counselors would be on hand again Thursday.

 

 

 

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35 Responses to School Community Mourning Death of Student

  1. jeannie green on February 15, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I have to hope this is not a result of bullying in school. I know that it is so much of this going on in the schools and unfortunately the people who are suppose to be in control has NO idea what they are doing. The so called Management is operating on the “just ignore it and it will go away” and our children are suffering because of this. Our schools are NOT safe for children that are being bullied.Until our schools are safe for every student we will have to do something drastic.

    • Sonja on February 16, 2012 at 7:06 am

      Do something drastic such as? Parent? Participate in your children’s lives? Ask questions? Get involved? Know their friends and what’s going on in their lives? Snoop if you have to? What a novel concept taking responsibility and really paying attention to your kids instead of sitting them in front of a TV, computer or any number of electronic baby sitters. I guess as long as they aren’t interfearing with the adult’s lives, it’s ok. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN PEOPLE!

      • Beverly on February 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

        WHY DO SOME PEOPLE POINT THE FINGER AT PARENTS BEFORE KNOWING THE FULL STORY, OR THE PARENTS? MY 11 YEAR OLD NIECE SPENT MOST OF OCTOBER AND NOVEMEMBER IN AND OUT OF CHILDRENS HOSPITOL IN PITTSBURGH…HER MOTHER COULDN’T BE MORE INVOLVED IN HER CHILDRENS LIVES….AND SHE IS A SINGLE WORKING MOTHER! SHE IS ACTIVE ON PTA BOARD, ACTIVE IN BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB! HER CHILDREN ARE HER LIFE. AFTER SPENDING ENDLESS DAYS AND NIGHTS IN HOSPITOLS, LOOSING TIME FROM WORK, AND DAUGHTER GOING THROUGH NUMEROUS TESTS….IT FINALLY CAME OUT….SHE WAS BEING BULLIED AT SCHOOL. BY A BOY WHO THREATENED HER AND CALLED HER FAT, UGLY ETC…AFTER MY NIECE PUT SERIOUS PRESSURE ON THE SCHOOL, AND THE BOY WAS REMOVED FROM HER CLASS…AND ALSO, I MAY ADD, THREATENED BACK, BY HER OLDER BROTHERS’ FRIEND……THE TRIPS AND NIGHTS AT THE HOSPITOL STOPPED.TORI HASN’T MISSED ANOTHER DAY OF SCHOOL SINCE.NO MORE MIGRANES, NO MORE THROWING UP! SO DON’T POINT YOUR FINGER. THOSE PARENTS HAVE LOST THEIR DEAR DAUGHTER. WHERE IS YOUR COMPASSION?

      • ... on February 16, 2012 at 11:16 pm

        This remark makes it sound like you don’t think her parents were involved. None of you know that. Please be a little more sensitive. What a tragedy, may God rest her soul.

      • jeannie green on February 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

        Let me assure you Sonya that your relationship with your parents could NOT have been any better than the student that I know is living with a bullying situation. The Mother has been to the school so many times plus the numerous phone calls trying to deal with the problem.Some days as many as seven and eight calls.I can tell you that the Principal spends a helluva lot of time in meetings.I can tell you they can pass the buck as who should answer your questions. The students are afraid to tell on the bully because they have to face the retaliation when the teacher tells them how they know. They have talked to teachers, counselors, Board of Education and working on getting a home school situation . Let me assure you that I can personally testify to the incompetence of these people ( I will not use names at this time).I can assure that this student has a very good home life. She knows she is loved because she is told so all the time. She knows that having a good family meal is a daily thing.She knows that her parents gladly go without so much so she has everything they can give her. She is a normal teenager and loves her computer and phone, etc.
        Now Miss Sonya, why do I blame the school? The law says you have to send them to school and they will be safe and receive good care. This student has been called names,pushed, not allowed to sit down at a table to eat her lunch, not allowed to walk down the hallway on side of certain people. The Mother was told by the Vice Principal of finding her daughter sitting on the stage eating her lunch because she wasn’t allowed to sit in the lunch room. I could go on and on. This year it begin the second week of school and continues until today so don’t you sit on your high and mighty bullcrap and tell me you know whats going on when we have children killing themselves. Whats going on is the Administration is working on the “Ignore it and it will go Away” theory knowing our children are afraid to say the names of the BULLY.

  2. Christine Gatton on February 15, 2012 at 7:33 pm

    Jeannie,
    That was my first thought, bullying! I also hope that a bully was not why this young person found no other way to “fix” her problems! I agree that those “in control” have no control, and it’s not just in the last few years it’s been a LONG time.
    My thoughts and prayers are with her family during this horrific time

    • kim on February 16, 2012 at 3:02 pm

      Not sure if bullying was the reason or not but it is very sad.
      I would like to take this time to invite parents and school age kids out to a Anti Bully Rally at the Black Belt Academy (Fox Run Shopping Center)713 Solomons Island Rd. Prince Frederick, MD on March 3rd 5 P.M to 7 P.M “IT IS FREE” Games and Prizes also Karate Demo And Confidence Building Workshop.

      • Mary Payne on February 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

        Glad to see someone is trying. Hope it works and you have a good turn out. Unforunatley, like Student/teacher conferences, PTA, only the parents that care show up. This is very sad..

        • Evie on February 20, 2012 at 2:50 am

          I am putting this date down, and having it in my childrens phones (In their calendar) And WE WILL be there with BELL’s ON!!!! I can TRULY tell you that!! I am COMPLETELY Involved with ALL 4 of my childrens lives! I KNOW every “ends & outs” of them & we TALK ALL THE TIME! I was raised in that kind of household growing up! And I have put forth that type of “Bringing MY children up” into my household also, As has my 2 Older sisters who have 2 out of their 5 children Grown & in College BUT I can say my sister is STILL in their lives, but As do I, My older sister Lives in Anne Arundel County & her son who is 12, and in 6th grade gets picked on, just like my 13 (almost 14yr old) daughter has, since starting Middle school..Which this is her LAST yr! But I KNOW that the kids that BULLY her are going to follow with her into the SAME High School as she is, and as much as I have spent, going CRAZY and showing up at the school and ALSO making calls to the school itself and EVEN going to the BOE! I had made sooo many calls over the PAST 2 school yrs, which was my oldest daughters 6th & 7th grade years, that NOW in her 8th grade year, the principal was let go & was transferred to another school IN THE COUNTY, but less though in OUR school!! I couldn’t find a Parent “1”, that liked him, and I was not worried about him, I was MORE worried about the children! But I am STILL to this day dealing with the BULLYING with my daughters and I have just HAD ENOUGH!! When this Dear Girl, Left us….Not only did it hit “home” because this girl was 1 of 2 BFF’s of my oldest daughter, but NOW my daughter is heart broken, NOT wanting to go to school, since they rode the same bus, talked ALL the time, Texted every day! But the SAME girls that are bullying my daughter and HAVE for EVER, without continual consequence, has driven me to “go further” in finding out “What is Starting OR keeping this going on & WHY??” So, I know on Friday evening, JUST 3 days AFTER her death, and my daughter STILL being in SUCH GRIEF, the MAIN child that is Bullying my daughter SENT a FB message Thru another child to MY daughter taunting her to go to her house for a fight!! AHHHHhhhhhhh!!! I REALLY wanna KNow What MORE I can do!! So Thanks soooo much for reading this…I had to get this out, and find out what else I can do!?!
          Will see you there!!

          • Anonymous on February 24, 2012 at 3:14 pm

            Reading through all this i feel such a sense of sadness not only for the family and friends of this little girl but of the ignorance of some people. My heart sinks for you and your daughter. This must be very frusterating for you but DONT GIVE UP! It just really boggles my mind that on first thought people point the finger at the girls parents and not the parents of the girls doing the bullying. That is the root of the real problem. They wernt just born mean.

  3. Anonymous on February 15, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Suicide as a result of bullying. This is out of control. This is the 2nd suicide of a student in less than 10 months, something has to be done. My heart aches for the family. A parent should never have to bury a child.

  4. Anonymous on February 15, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    Where does this say it was a suicide?

    • vickie on February 16, 2012 at 12:11 am

      I agree, no one said anything about suicide. Its a shame for whatever reason the cause of death. A parent should NEVER have to bury a child! May God be with the family and help them.

    • Wanda on February 16, 2012 at 8:01 am

      I’m guessing those that posted about suicide know more of the story than what’s being posted, which is very well possible.

      My continued thoughts & prayers are with this young ladies family & friends.

  5. Mandy on February 16, 2012 at 10:32 am

    Sonja I agree. Parents need to be more involved in their kid’s lives. My mom was involved in my life and she is awesome. She knew all my friends and they all loved her. After a while they would all call her “Mom” too! She was and still is my best friend! Parents, this is coming from someone in their early 20’s GET INVOLVED! It’s not too late! Don’t force it but let it occur naturally. Start by asking them about their day. Go out and do things as a family. Make a no cell phone rule at the dinner table. All these little things help. If your kid comes home crying don’t just let it go. GO TALK TO THEM! Ask them whats wrong. Show genuine concern. If my mom hadn’t done this with me I don’t know if I’d still be here. Overall, my thoughts and prayers are with the family during this hard time.

    • Sonja on February 16, 2012 at 2:50 pm

      It’s great to hear from someone so young Mandy. I’m still best friends with my Mom and I’m blessed with a teenaged daughter who’s also my best friend. She does know that I’m Mom first though. We have rules and we have Sunday dinner always as a family and I feel she appreciates it.

    • Firzana on February 16, 2012 at 4:47 pm

      I have to agree with Sonja as well. Many parents push this responsibility on the administrators at the school. Do the parents even know it’s happening and do they take a stand themselves?? If a parent knows, it’s their job to raise hell until it gets taken care of. Don’t expect the administrators to take it upon themselves if they don’t know what’s happening. Regardless, it’s a sad situation.

    • Beverly on February 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

      HOW CAN YOU PLACE BLAME ON THE PARENTS, NOT KNOWING THE FULL STORY?

  6. Brandy on February 16, 2012 at 3:38 pm

    This was a suicide. My daughter was friends with this girl. She said that she seemed happy just the day before. She was always smiling. This is so sad. I know how bad this is hurting my daughter, I can’t begin to imagine how this girl’s family is feeling. My heart goes out to them.

    • Anonymous on February 17, 2012 at 9:43 am

      Brandy, my heart goes out to your daughter who has to deal with death of a friend at such a young age (or any age at that matter).

  7. sara on February 16, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    Really Jeannie? You are making an assumption that her death was a result of bullying yet you state you don’t know for sure. Get your facts straight before you start making assumptions. And unless you have some inside scoop that people are “ignoring it” then you should be careful about the poison you spread. Schools do the best they can. Teachers, administrators, and counselors I know (and I know plenty) are heartfelt and selfless people. To say that this was a result of people not caring is ignorant on your part. Unless people know the facts they should not speculate. I agree with Sonja. Be a parent to your child. Keep your eyes open. We may never understand why she did what she did but I am talking to my children about this to make sure they come to me or someone else if they ever have these types of thoughts or if their friends verbalize these thoughts. I think it is insensitive to say that the staff at Mill Creek or anyone else did not do what they should have done or try to blame others for this tragedy. Hindsight is 20/20. I’m all for advocating for non-tolerance for bullying but under these circumstances we should just pray for the family who will have to endure this pain. I have an idea…Perhaps the bullies and their families need to take responsibility and be accountable for their actions rather than blame teachers or school staff.

  8. Mary Payne on February 16, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    Did you hug your child today? Did you tell them you love them? Did you ask how their day was? Did you ask if they were troubled by anything? Do you know their friends? DO YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD???

  9. Carrie on February 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    Sonja- while I am very happy for you and your daughter that you enjoy such a good relationship I do believe that your harsh words basically blaming this young lady’s death on her parents lack of involvement in her life is not only incredibly insensitive but also cruel and judgmental. While I certainly agree that parental involvement is a critical relationship in a child’s life I do not believe that you know the details of this situation. There are many things that could be involved here and until you do know this particular situation I believe you should choose your words more wisely in such a small county where it is very reasonable to anticipate that these grieving parents will read your comments.

  10. Beverly on February 17, 2012 at 12:33 am

    SUICIDE is the third leading cause of death in children 10 years old to 14 years old. Before everyone casts arrows, maybe you should check out the demograhics in Lusby. This isn’t the first one in the last year. Nor the 2nd. It seems your area has a higher rate of suicide than most. Maybe it’s time to EDUCATE parents, teachers, and students. Maybe it’s time to be pro-active. Before yet another young person chooses to take their own life. Wake up.

  11. Anonymous on February 17, 2012 at 9:41 am

    If it was bullying,..it is not the school’s fault. Apparently she was being bullied; but by a SOPHOMORE in High School. So what can the school do about it? The poor girl was in 7th grade and the bully was in HS.. 2 different schools and it was probably happening outside of the school. People should not point fingers at anyone. A tragic death has happened to a young innocent girl. My thoughts & prayers go out to the family and friends.

  12. Paula on February 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    First thing I need to say is my heart is breaking for these parents.I lost my only son to suicide 17 years ago.He was 25.When a child or anyone for what ever the reason decides to committ suicide without intervention it usually is carried out at some point.They say most people that do this is Bi-Polar.I never saw this in my son…always happy,with many friends.Looking back ,there was some signs.But as a parent you never think your child is going to hurt themselves.I hope this young girls death was not the result of bullying.Like I say I really don”t know if suicide can be stopped once a mind is made up to do it.This kind of thing is happening to often.And its part of many of our lives.I hope parents take the time and sit your kids down and explain to them that suicide is death, its forever.Not a solution to everyday problems.Let them know to talk to you or someone about things that are bothering them.Just always talk to your kids,and be there for them.I had a very close relationship with my son ,but it was”nt enough.I never thought suicide or one of my kids would ever die before me.It”s something that can enter your life and you”ll never see it coming.My thoughts and prayers go out to all the families that have been touched by suicide.It”s a death like no other!

  13. Tina on February 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    I have NEVER in my life heard so many judgmental comments. The is a horrible tragedy & I cannot imagine the pain this family is going through.
    I do know people close to this situation & they don’t know why. And they are ALL devastated including the staff at Mill Creek. We may never know the whys. Placing blame is NOT going to bring that beautiful child back to her family. Please stop spreading rumors & causing more pain for all the people in involved. Just pray for them that they can some how get through this!!

  14. Kelli on February 19, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Everyone is “entitled” to their own opinion. Any death is a tragedy, however when it involves a young person, it hits home for ALL of us! Here’s an idea…why don’t we (you know, ALL of us who don’t know the answers, can’t use ANY facts to say WHY) just grieve for the family, stop blaming the school system, bullying, whomever else and let the friends and family of this wonderful girl have their peace. It’s easy for all of us to automatically go to bullying, but the truth is we may never know.

  15. Heart Broken on February 20, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Unfortunatly this was a result of Suicide, suicide from the result of bullying at school. I dont understand why you guys are on here fighting about whose fault it is. Really? A middle school student killed herself. Maybe if everyone stopped being mean, fighting and just got along – we wouldnt be raising our children in such a violent atmosphere. You can be the best parent in the world and loose your child to suicide. You can be the worst parent in the worst and your child become a brain surgeon. There is too much anger and self entitlement in the world.

    • Amen on February 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

      AMEN Heartbroken!!! Sad that even these posts have become so CHARGED, TEMPERED and ANGERED!

  16. Anonymous on February 20, 2012 at 8:48 pm

    I have two children. One that is 13 an attends SMS and one that just turned 17 an attends CHS.. Bullying is bad in every school… My son had his first problem last year with a student making rude remarks about him… My son came home was talking about and stated he spoke to the teacher and she said just to ignore him… The following week I had a face to face conference with all his teachers.. I addressed them all on what there job is as a teacher…These teachers and administration are letting the children scare them from standing up and doing there jobs… I attend middle and high here in this county… We would of been kicked out of school for this kind of stuff. I truthfully feel there should be a law that makes it a manslaughter charge if you bully a student and cause them to commit sucide… That is the only way we are going to get it under control… If your caught bullying some one it should be a charge for that too.. But bullying just dont stop at school.. Parents need to see there childrens facebook, text messages, twitter, and my space… You will see how cruel children are these days… My daughter had this girl that she broke off friends with post my childs cell and home phone all over facebook…. Saying call this b***h for a f**K. This child is 18 and so I took it upon my self to handle it… For a while it was very peaceful… Now she is back harrasing her again… So now I will have to file charges.. Lets start fighting back as parents and save our childrens life… My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of this yung victim..

  17. Anonymous on February 23, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    The schools make such a big deal about it, but honstley they dont do anything about it, only giving the sudent a referal & iss for one day..that isn’t gonna teach a bully a lesson. The school doesn’t honstley know how these childeren feel, & Its upseting.

  18. jaynie on February 23, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    I first wanna say I feel terrible for the family. Second thing I wanna say is why after all these years of bullying are kids now resorting to suiside. Why are our youth so depressed that when they get picked on and teased they do these things? Lets go back to the old days when we told our kids to man up and deal with it. Before all these coddling parents who baby them. I sure believe this is why suicide and school shootings are so high now a days. I have an 11 year old daughter and when she falls I tell her to get up and shake it off, I don’t kiss it and put and bandaid on it. When u get hit, I say hit them back.

  19. Sonja on February 24, 2012 at 7:45 am

    Again pay attention to your kids. I’ll stand by my words 100%! If they are harsh, or seem judgmental, perhaps it’s a guilty conscince on your part. There was NO bullying involved in this child’s death as a matter of fact. Again, where were the parents of the bullies? They way children act “in the streets” is a direct manifestation of how they are ALLOWED to act at home. Like it or not, it’s not a teacher’s job to raise our kids. DO IT YOURSELF!

  20. keri on February 24, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    the parents you need to be concerned with are the parents of the children doing the bullying not the parents that are grieving right now. Children are TAUGHT how to act… they arnt just born that way.